Okay, I started having a Carrie Bradshaw moment during dinner at a neighborhood “fine dining” establishment with my parents. I do everything I  can to keep my mouth shut about the food at restaurants like that but it seems every time that I go out to dinner with either my parents or the inlaws there is something HORRIBLY wrong with the food.

Last time the snapper special was SO awful I couldn’t have more than half a bite, over salted, Sysco prestuffed with god knows, and not the description on the menu. The sauce wasn’t the same, etc. It was obvious, and fortunately or not, that I couldn’t force myself through it, so it became obvious that there was something wrong. A few more things happened that night, but I digress.

Tonight, different restaurant, different set of parents, same situation. The wine was hot, not just alcohol hot but you could litterally feel heat eminating from the glass. The “charcuterie” platter was slabs of meat with dill pickle slices from a jar, and then my hangar steak, which was ordered Mid Rare, was done done done. Murdered. I told them I’d hang onto the plate so that I could snack on the asparagus and fries (I was offered ketsup) and had them take the meat back as proof. I did this sheepishly after our server asked for it. I’m also the type of person that understands that sometimes a hair will inevitably make it onto a plate. It could be the farmer’s in a bed of greens or it could be an Emo kid in the back with no self regard. Tonight it was the latter and it happened twice. The first time resulted in me smacking a fry out of my husbands mouth and then him smacking a slice of the newly cooked hangar out of mine. Really?!

When I asked for an ice bucket for the RED wine the lady asked the busser loudly to get me one, like I was the most eccentric person to ever walk through the door. It still took close to 15 minutes to get it just under room temperature.

Desserts were right on par withthe rest of the experience, except worse. The boxed Bisquik mix on top of “cherries” that was doctored with an explosive amount of cinnamon, had my husband asking what the chemical taste was.

So. Obviously I didn’t agree to the dinner out of excitement and anticipation for the food, although I had heard really good things. I am very honest about my expectations. I have the same level of standards for McDonalds as I do for the French Laundry. I don’t expect boxed couscous with flavor packets, I don’t expect the chef to improperly cook a piece of sub par meat, I don’t expect attitude form the server. I was so distracted by the blatant falsification of the food I couldn’t stay in any of the conversations. I was ashamed, I felt guilty, and then it made me angry. How can you charge for food like that? How can you take short cuts like that? How when you pick up a bottle of wine do you not notice it’s the same temperature as your morning latte? I’m upset with myself for writing this, I’m worried that my dinner company might read it. I don’t want to have to order things from the menu that I know will be “safe.” Why should I suffer because I can’t necessarily distinguish whether they are using marjoram or oregano, but I can sure as hell taste sodium dyglyceride?

What I really wanted to do was march in the kitchen, show the chef how to temper a steak, then how to mark and finish it, slice it AGAINST the grain, and then plate it with the components that are actually listed on the menu. I wanted to pull a Gordon Ramsey with the desserts, throwing them against the back wall and yelling that they’re F ing Rubbish! Then turn to the Emokid and shout and point “And you!” as I pull his hair to the cutting board. I wanted to leave my card and suggest wine training. But most of all I wanted to enjoy the company, sip a decent wine, and eat dinner. I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass because everything was sub subpar.

Tell me, what would you do?

According to Decanter, 714 liters of liquid cocaine were discovered under the guise of bottles of Bolivian Bodegas Kohlberg, but not until they arrived in Bulgaria where they were confiscated by customs officers. Of the 1,020 bottles, only 68 actually contained wine.

Apparently this has happened before.

The impact that plastic water bottles have on the planet, not to mention our bodies and our wallets, is catastrophic.

Last year I discovered Sigg after hearing about an independent test conducted on the influence (or lack there of) from aluminum and the lining deposits, fell and love, and bought one for lots of friends and family. Made from a single piece of aluminum, it’s ultra-lightweight yet rugged and crack-resistant. To minimize unwanted tastes and scents, the inside is lined with a water-based, non-toxic epoxy resin that exceeds FDA leaching requirements. After becoming my primary mode of transporting drinkables (great for a lemon drop on the go) I started to realize how many water bottles it had replaced, and everything that goes along with them. To put it mildly I was floored. I could literally picture the mound of disposed bottles I had avoided. Needless to say I have become an advocate for water bottle alternatives (while still avoiding main stream plastic and don’t even think about Aluminum!)

Now I have a new fixation and I have yet to get my hands on one.

Introducing Kor One

A lightweight plastic bottle, featuring a sleek transparent design, and a convenient pop top with an ergonomic spout that is large enough to consume ice cubes. Kor One bottles are free of hazardous, plastic based, BPA’s, which are thought to contribute to certain cancers and physical abnormalities.

For a quick synopsis on BPA’s check out the article posted by Treehugger. Then place your order for your Kor here.

Update: I was sent a sample bottle and absolutely love it! Listen to the SF WineChef podcast for a listener promocode.

Julie Julia – Film Trailer

And the countdown to August 7th begins!

The Mystery of The World’s Most Expensive Bottle of Wine.

An absolutely mind-blowing read.The story unravels like a murder mystery. Or was there ever a murder? Did the wine ever exist? This story of wine counterfeiters, bottles auctioned for over $30,000, tampered corks, bottles, labels had me on the edge of my seat from the get go, trying to keep up with the names, the wines, the regions, the auctions, the tastings…the research put into this book was astounding. From Thomas Jefferson’s records to tracking the culprit across the world, following up with auctioneers, billionaires, and wine professionals. The sales, the tasting, and the accusations continued for nearly two decades when lab research began to confirm suspicions; while the findings are inconclusive, Wallace is able to portray every side of the story, allowing the reader to draw their own conclusions. This book is equivocal to Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code and is a must read for everyone with even the faintest interest in wine.

Also available abridged on Audible.

In preparation for an upcoming class at the Writing Salon with fellow Baker’s Dozen member Dianne Jacob I have taken WWFF off of the shelf and have committed to rereading it by the July 11th class date. This will be the final step before submitting the proposal for Inked Rogue Chefs directly to Ten Speed Press and the Chronicle.

In addition to that I will be getting back on the blogging band wagon and writing more than ever. I’m also starting the Bay Area Winechef podcast by the end of the week, which will cover local farmer’s markets, Bay Area chefs, industry writers, and interviews with some of the most amazing people in the industry.

Then who knows, hopefully this will be the begining of something extraordinary!

The Dissident Chef: Subculture Dining

My new obsession.

So it’s been a long time since I’ve posted, I’ll give you a quick synopsis then fill in at a later date.

The time line went something like this: Ocean Seasoning and I parted ways, the realizations of the unfounded accusations “I was aware of my poor performance” confounded by the possibility of immediately finding a job in this economy, mounting debt, first year of marriage, a new dog, and trying to get my shiz together for the book…pushed me just about over the edge. I had to fight for unemployment ( I didn’t know that was even an option), we had to move, and I was quickly running out of gas money to get to interviews. I had already been interviewing for months before my stint at Ocean Seasoning had ended (more often than not I was miserable, and in the 15 plus years of working in some of the most stress filled kitchens in the country, I never cried or let it affect me at work. While at OC, the chef drove me to hysterical bouts of tears on several occasions) but I was too comfortable to really leave. Problem was solved for me, so thanks.

Now that the unemployment checks are finally coming in (thanks for truly F ing that one up EDD), I’m not in a horrible state of crippling depression and I’ve become nigga rich and have been having crazy meals and spending my days having as much fun in the Bay Area as possible, reconecting with friends and eating truly wonderful food (on most occasions). Activities include but are not limited to: SCD dinner (10 courses of Beef in an undisclosed location in San Francisco), a private tour of the gin distillery No. 209 (thanks Arnie!), lunch at Waterbar, Lavende East, Bakesale Betty’s, beer at Jupiter and Triple Rock in Berkeley (stay tuned for that update!) $45 massages, walks in amazing locations with said dog (and husband), and last but not least, a gym membership…

And I’ve been cooking! Not usually for money, actually seldom for money, but stints have included cooking for an exclusive Sufi Retreat (No Booze, No Bacon, how does she do it?!), family and friend dinners (Carnitas with homemade tortillas , thanks to Steve, and oatmeal horchata), a 4 course for my granny and her group of sassy octogenarian frends, and random potlucks.

The book…querying agents. I didn’t get the one that I specifically was hoping for, but we’ll see. I’m still hoping for some interst from agents in the upcoming weeks, then I go straight to Chronicle and 10 Speed. I have gotten more awesome chefs, there does seem to be a lot of buzz about the book, I just need to sell it! Anyway, look me up on Facebook, there is also an Inked Rogue Chef group that you can join and follow. I am much better about updating Facebook with at least pictures of what I’m doing since I got a new crackberry with my refund.

Until next time, let me know what you want to see, hear, feedback, etc. Late.

Months in the making and it’s almost here!

Inked Rogue Chefs Matt Finarelli, Chris Cossentino, Michael Symon, Jill Barron, Billy Barlow, and Jeremy Esterly will be featured in an article featuring chefs with pork related tattoos. 

Photographers from around the country and in England offered their services and I cannot wait to see what they’ve done. 

For a sneak peak at the photoshoot done by Eggbeater’s Shuna Fish Lydon check out Matt’s blog Deglazed. 

Pick up Issue 7 now!