Garre Cafe

garre-sandwich.jpg

One word: Tacky.
Tacky green chairs, tacky greet tables, tacky art, tacky faux finish, tacky fake flowers in tacky unmatched vases, watery cab franc, unrefined servers to say the least, and all for what appears to be a geriatric clientele. I am escorted to a table inside as all of the ones outside in the sun are taken, and I am able to sit at my perch in the corner and observe. I went there with the feeling that I was not in for a culinary treat where I would find myself able to contemplate life, food, and my career while enjoying a perfect wine buzz, but I did not plan to be so incredibly disappointed either.

The wrong drink order was brought to the table next to me, who sat themselves. An additional set of silverware was brought to me by the busser, I kindly told her it would just be me, but she left it anyway. Maybe she was not planning on changing the lovely paper table cover. I order a glass of Garre’s cab franc and bask in the eewy-ness that is Garre Café while trying to block the awful music station playing everything from country to the Pussy Cat Dolls.

I went safe and ordered the bbq sandwich; you couldn’t go too exciting here unless you ordered a standard with a twist, i.e. pork Marsala, or chicken carbonara. Really? I would have never thought to do that! A restaurant with this menu in Napa, even Sonoma, would be out so fast…Now I’m starting to get angry that Livermore has so many sub par restaurants in what should be an amazing wine valley.
I don’t know where they got the servers, it appears that there is an alternative High School program that gets out just in time for them to make their lunch shifts.

I never got my stale looking foccocia with olive oil and balsamic that the rest of the tables received, I’m not bummed, just getting buzzed on the sub par wine served in a shitty thick glass while waiting too long for my food. PS a pet peeve of mine is wineries that don’t invest in good wine glasses, then buy the little ones that they fill to high for you to swirl. Shouldn’t you want to have your guests ponder and fully appreciate your wine? Oh. Never mind.

OOO! That did not just happen! First the paper sheet comes thundering through the dining room, then gets whisked onto the floor then PUT ON THE TABLE!!!!!

The soups that arrive at the table next to me look like they’ve been vomited in, and around. It’s called a wipe! Where is the pride here?!
I don’t know if this just isn’t my scene because the demographic is definitely 30-40 years older than me, or if this place is in desperate need of a consultant, (call me!) This valley deserves better!

Now a brief note on one of the servers; Pink daisy dukes with the check book in the back of the shorts! Eww! As if pink short shorts, burgundy polo’s, and a hard core belt weren’t inappropriate enough, they certainly don’t go on a 50 year old. And I don’t want my order in your drawers

Ahh, my last sip of wine and they see I don’t have what does truly turn out to be stale foccocia, I then get my oil and vin bottles, and 3 bread plates, from the table whose paper cover ended up on the floor. How has one turned into two into three? And where is my fucking food, my Blackberry is going to die!
Table next to me got their lunch before I did, but ooo, here comes my opened face BBQ Pork sandwich that isn’t open.
The sandwich is actually very good, hot crunchy bread, substantial filling, tasty filling… Just four times the size that it needs to be. Half of it is already dumped on the plate; the rest just can’t be consumed. The romaine and onion garnish separate the sandwich from a awful room temperature pasta salad. People! Food cost, presentation! Quality!

Alas the sandwich will not save this dining experience as I have expectations that could have easily been met here, and I ended up regretting not just eating crackers at the winery. This place needs help, because I am not coming back here, nor recommending it to anyone, unless it is a paid position to transform the entire place into a suitable dining establishment.

Where not to go:

7986 Tesla Rd
Livermore, CA 94550

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2 Responses to “Garre Cafe”

  1. gosh, I wish I saw this when i booked my wedding there.

    i was married at Garre in June of this year.

    I don’t doubt a single word of this article….their event coordinators, people preparing the food…they all are in the uh, wrong industry.

    avoid this place.

  2. Thanks, I can’t figure out why Livermore can’t get their shit together. These people need consultants in a BAD way.

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