I came THIS CLOSE to losing it…

So we know I don’t have a “fondness” for children, but tonight it was a cross between two horrific parents and their AWFUL children. The two year old, who was celebrating her birthday at Ocean Seasoning instead of someplace more appropriate for a 2 year old, began THROWING THE SHELLS from our decor basket on the table, on the hard stone floor, and breaking the ones that she wasn’t just staining with her baby beet covered hands! She was leaping at the guests next to her while I opened their bottle of champagne, HER SOCKS ALMOST LANDED ON THEIR TABLE!!! It wasn’t until they were well into their dessert course that the mother realized she was missing her SOCKS! Her shoes were another story. Her BIG sister kept knocking into me like I wasn’t even there when I was at my other tables. By the time they left I was almost dizzy from shallow breathing for the two hours that they were there. Seriously people! It’s a good thing I don’t plan on becoming a parent because if I wanted to go out to a nice dinner I would probably lock my kids in a closet while I happily downed a bottle of scotch and spent their tuition on another tasting menu. 

One Response to “I came THIS CLOSE to losing it…”

  1. […] you’ve read this, or this, or even this, and have been humored, appalled, or educated, then look forward to the […]

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