“Ocean Seasoning” gets three stars!

I get a lot of shit for not following restaurant critic reviews, but so what. Everyone’s a critic now and I’d almost rather read the reviews on Yelp by real people or get recomendations from my peers than follow something that will give me too many preconceived notions about a restaurant, like all of the ass hat’s that I had to deal with last week at the restaurant after Michael Bauer’s three star review came out. Here’s a few examples:

Me: “How is everything?”

Patron, looking down and his wife looking at him somewhat expectently, somewhat leery of what he might say: “Well, you asked! This lobster is not blowing my socks off! (then mutters something under his breath and repeats that he is not blown away by it.)” 

Me: “I’m so sorry, is there something wrong with it?” Because, honestly, it’s good butter, great lobster, salt, and a beautiful soft baguette. The only way it couldn’t blow your socks off is if one of the components is off, or if you’re an ass hat. 

The next table is downright irate that we don’t have the “steamers” in the article. We change the menu twice a day, usually dependent on which forager walks through the door or which seafood the fish monger is able to get his hands on. On top of things we had no idea that the article was coming out! Again, copious appologies and explanations, but they still “manage” to finish every last bite, while not “managing” to not be an ass hat.   

The third table is very nice, disappointed that we don’t have the seasonal dessert that Bauer experienced a month before, but still leave happy. 

The rest of the week continues in this fashion, one lady telling me that “THE ONLY REASON to come here is for the clams the old way we made them.” She also managed to finish every last drop of broth with our grilled bread. And her dog seemed to enjoy the fresh water I gave it in a shallow third pan when they arrived. 

What’s the moral of this story? My favorite saying, “You’re only as good as your worst ingredient.” Trust the chef. Trust that the ingredients are fresh, and that there is little an experienced chef that has succeeded in many restaurants can fuck up. Enjoy dining, enjoy the food, enjoy the company, and tip well. 

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One Response to ““Ocean Seasoning” gets three stars!”

  1. F those ass hats. Some people just feel like they have to complain about something. I can only assume all these ass hats you referenced probably bitch about everything…they probably spend most of their day finding something that’s not up to their expectations and then find someone to bitch at. Hopefully you have many more pleasant and appreciative customers than these few that you’ve mentioned.

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